Long run

I jogged 4 miles today, dodging raindrops and alternating bright sunshine. It felt good. Before COVID I did shorter “faster” type jogs on Tuesdays and Thursdays and a long steady jog on Saturday or Sunday. While I have been continuing my jogging, I got into more of a slow and steady rhythm to all my jogs. I had some trouble with blisters in my feet, then I had surgery and recovery then heat, wildfires, smoke, virtual school, grad school… lots of things that interrupted my routine. Shortly after I got up this morning it was pouring rain outside and I thought that I might not run at all, much less a long run. So I’m proud of this accomplishment. I got out and Did a long run.

I have learned over the years that goals are deeply internal. If a particular goal is internally motivating I am very likely to accomplish it. If it’s not, my success is less likely. Sometimes external factors can be additionally motivating, but only where an internal factor exists. For example, my Stats instructor asked us to assign the probability that we would receive a certain letter grade in his class. I don’t remember exactly what I assigned, but it went something like this:

A 90%
B 8%
C 2%
D 0%
F 0%
Other 0%

His comments back to me went something like this:

I am surprised that you would leave no room for some type of unpredictable event to occur that might cause you not to complete the class.

Anyone who has known me for a significant part of my life knows that I’m a textbook example of an overachiever. I wear the badge proudly. I am internally motivated by achieving. It’s the overachiever me that placed my chance of an A so high. It was the external motivation of needing a C or higher in Stats to qualify for my master’s program that influenced everything else. I joked that Jon better pull the plug if I couldn’t complete the stats course! This being because only dying would stand in my way when I was so motivated.

When I have goals that I’m struggling to accomplish, I find myself wondering about my motivations. Is there an internal motivation? Is it strong enough? What are my external motivations? One thing that I have never fully achieved is to predict the right combination of motivations to achieve all of my ambitions, nor how to increase my conscious motivation to push me towards achieving them.

Productive Day

I’m really proud of myself today. I got up before 6. I went for a jog. I ran steady at a 16 min pace and felt pretty good. After that the kids and I walked the dogs. I had a lovely chat with my bestie Tina, and then I got to work. I pumped out three original posts and a response for school. I also completed my first mini paper for the program. Essentially I have now completed two weeks of Graduate school. I feel accomplished! 😂

10K

Goals are good. I started running again about two months ago. My goal, just to get out and do something. Maybe …. feel like I could run a 5K again without too much thought. This was a big deal for me. The day my Mom died I lost my will to do nearly everything. I have kids, some who really couldn’t understand what happened to Grandma (One who still doesn’t). So getting all broken was never an option. I went through all the motions, but numb to everything. On the first anniversary of her death, I had an honest out loud conversation with her, with myself, and gave myself permission to move on. No more tears, no more fog, no more numbing pain. Time to take back my life because I am alive. No more reason needed right?

This was fine and good, except that I didn’t even realize how much I had let go of. I stopped thinking about my mom every moment, I stopped rethinking her last two months, last week, last day. I didn’t even know to look for other broken stuff.

When we moved I had to accept a night shift position. I had to figure out where to get the kids follow up care, how to navigate a whole world of new terrain… including where to buy clothes and groceries… so much required my attention and time. I didn’t have any more to worry about my own physical body. I ran a few times in the first couple months and when we moved to the second house, we joined a gym. Initially I went a lot, but warmer weather noticed me outdoors and I got out of the routine. I can’t even remember why I stopped running outdoors, probably an injury and figuring out how to do it with my schedule. Probably so many things.

They don’t matter anymore. I have a plan now, I have been doing it for 2 months (and injured myself too) and I’m running a 10K in June. I’m not trying to do it fast, I’m just going to run it and finish- for me.

Just Felt like Running

I pretty much look like hell after a run, but check it out, I’m smiling!

I took this after my 5K on Tuesday. Today I ran 4.5 miles which doesn’t sound as cool as a 5K, but is almost a mile and a half more. My Tuesday run felt a whole lot better. Today I wanted to stop at 3.1, like really bad. I didn’t though, so victory. My training plan also wanted me to run this at a pace of 17:30-18:30. There was a moment before I started this plan in which I didn’t think I could do this, but on Tuesday I ran my 5K at an average pace of 17:40.

My pace doesn’t matter that much to me, but it makes me feel like I’m making some progress. What is really important to me is that I’m out moving. Being a little bit healthier, getting some me time, clearing my head, all that crap :)

Cellcom Marathon

Jon ran his marathon today and finished with a time of 5:01:44. I am very proud of this accomplishment.  He has been hampered by a knee injury, and for a while, wasn't sure if he could run at all.  He said he was good up through mile 16.  At mile 18 his knee was very sore and at a mile 20 he couldn't run anymore.  So he walked the final 6 with a little jog as he ran past us cheering in Lambeau.  

Yesterday we snapped the photo above as we left Lambeau Field after we picked up Jon's bibs and registration info. It was pretty awesome to mill around the Lambeau Field Atrium.

 

I still think he is crazy, and I have no desire whatever to run a marathon.

Or another half for that matter... I think I will stick to 5 and 10Ks, or relays. 

Half Marathon

A couple of months ago Jon suffered an overuse injury that has been really slow to heal.  Unfortunately he was already signed up for the Green Bay Cellcom Marathon that runs next week.  So back then, I committed to take over his run for him if he couldn't run it, but I was only prepared to run the half.  The rules say that it would disqualify the time, and you would get the finisher medal for the race you signed up for (since that is what they were planning on you running) but otherwise it wasn't a big deal.  If the half hadn't been full, we could have switched his registration to a half, but it was already full.  So anyway, it was a big commitment for me.  I had formed and signed up a team for the relay in September, but running any sort of marathon was not in my mind's eye at the time.  

Since then, however, Jon has worked up to walk/running, and was able to complete a 20 training activity last weekend in around 5 hours.  So, he is confident that he can use this strategy to run his own race.  Therefore, I am not needed to run, but I did all the training for it... So I decided to run my own half today.  

My phone died at mile 12, which besides being tired and low on energy, I was sort of bored too.  So my last mile sort of sucked.  There was also a crazy head wind on the way back from Kaukauna that slowed me down quite a bit.  I never thought that all the cheering people and the hubbub of spectators who don't know me actually did anything for my running, but I am convinced now that they play a pretty big role in helping you get to the finish.  I think they might have helped me hit my goal of 3 hours and 30 minutes too.  

So in the end, I ran all the way to Kaukauna and back! Which is incredible.  The trail I took goes right past the school I went to for 6th-8th grade... (although now its an elementary school...) I remember them making us run the mile in gym.  I hated those days.  So many sprained ankles and windless hours... If I finished the mile, it was like 30-45 minutes...  It is so crazy to me that I can do it in 15 now... and that I literally ran from where I live now in Appleton, all the way to that school in Kaukauna, and back!  I'm proud, and sore, and probably not much of a long distance runner... I mean, Jon did this in an hour and 39 minutes...  

I'm glad I did it, I would do it for him again, but I don't think I will be signing up for more halfs (or fulls...). 

Faces

This is an illustration depicting why asking children to "smile" for the camera is a bad idea... 

And this is an illustration of why we ask our children to smile for the camera! 

Today Jon did a training run that took about 5 hours and spanned 20 miles... During which time, I baked two loaves of homemade whole wheat bread, washed, dried and folded four loads of laundry, and created and kneaded dough for 30 tortillas. 

Now I'm drinking Merlot and letting someone else cook dinner. Cheers to productivity! 

(Oh, I also put Wes on the pot every hour and changed three barely damp undies, and broke up so many sibling quifs that I lost count...)