Long run
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I jogged 4 miles today, dodging raindrops and alternating bright sunshine. It felt good. Before COVID I did shorter “faster” type jogs on Tuesdays and Thursdays and a long steady jog on Saturday or Sunday. While I have been continuing my jogging, I got into more of a slow and steady rhythm to all my jogs. I had some trouble with blisters in my feet, then I had surgery and recovery then heat, wildfires, smoke, virtual school, grad school… lots of things that interrupted my routine. Shortly after I got up this morning it was pouring rain outside and I thought that I might not run at all, much less a long run. So I’m proud of this accomplishment. I got out and Did a long run.
I have learned over the years that goals are deeply internal. If a particular goal is internally motivating I am very likely to accomplish it. If it’s not, my success is less likely. Sometimes external factors can be additionally motivating, but only where an internal factor exists. For example, my Stats instructor asked us to assign the probability that we would receive a certain letter grade in his class. I don’t remember exactly what I assigned, but it went something like this:
A 90%
B 8%
C 2%
D 0%
F 0%
Other 0%
His comments back to me went something like this:
I am surprised that you would leave no room for some type of unpredictable event to occur that might cause you not to complete the class.
Anyone who has known me for a significant part of my life knows that I’m a textbook example of an overachiever. I wear the badge proudly. I am internally motivated by achieving. It’s the overachiever me that placed my chance of an A so high. It was the external motivation of needing a C or higher in Stats to qualify for my master’s program that influenced everything else. I joked that Jon better pull the plug if I couldn’t complete the stats course! This being because only dying would stand in my way when I was so motivated.
When I have goals that I’m struggling to accomplish, I find myself wondering about my motivations. Is there an internal motivation? Is it strong enough? What are my external motivations? One thing that I have never fully achieved is to predict the right combination of motivations to achieve all of my ambitions, nor how to increase my conscious motivation to push me towards achieving them.
