1Year Ago

A year ago yesterday was the last time that my kids spent a day in a classroom. For them, this was the beginning of this nightmare. COVID 19 became a real part of their vocabulary. Life as they knew it completely changed. I could count on my two hands the number of times since then that the kids have left our home.

The prospect of beginning in person hybrid learning next month comes with fair amount of anxiety for them. It’s not quite like I think you might imagine it to be. The kids have finally found a place where they know what to expect from CDL and they have a routine. The idea that we should uproot all of that now, when the end of the school year is just two months away, is not being met with welcome arms from anyone in our home. Our school district has been pretty tight lipped about what to expect from this “hybrid learning” too. What we learned just a few days ago is that they will go either Monday and Tuesday or Thursday and Friday from 8:45 to 11:45, and then are expected to complete those days in CDL. The logistics of figuring out how to get them there and home alone is pretty ridiculous. We have decided that we will drive Ava, Liv and Tay who all attend the same school now. In theory they will be in the same “cohort” having in-person learning on the same days of the week. Wes will have to take his bus. We thought there was low risk here since he already takes a special bus for kids with special needs. But this means that Wes will be on a bus for at least 60 minutes, probably more depending on how many stops the bus has. All for a 180 minute school day. I have a lot of reservations about this plan. It seems pretty ridiculous to me at this point.

Jon calculated it out, with hybrid learning starting on April 12th, our kids will have a maximum of 16 days of school for the whole year. At three hours a day, well that is 48 hours in class and 16 hours on a bus.

As I reflect on this last year, I am still in shock by how little we now “know”. It feels like so many big questions still hang around every corner. I spend my weekends “off” volunteering my time at the airport mass vaccine clinic. I think I vaccinate about 12 patients an hour give or take. At that average, I vaccinate about 50 people every shift. So far, I have completed 5 shifts, so 250 patients. I feel really good about that. I had one known “moderate exposure”, where I cared for a patient without sufficient PPE due to PPE shortage and inadequate recommendations. It happened on April 3rd. I was so angry about it. It was my second shift back to work after my medical leave. I spent my whole leave worrying about how I would protect myself (and more importantly my family) from this horrible new virus. So part of me was angry that I wasn’t successful, but more was angry that compromises were being made by the health care industry. My safety was calculated against predictions about what might come and how much PPE supply was available. This was clear early on, but with the CDC under what amounted to gag orders by 45, technically speaking, the hospital was protected under the context of “following guidance”.

Most of the last year, I have spent feeling angry. First at the hospital for keeping PPE from me while I came to work every day exposing myself and my family to whatever might have been there. Then at people around who ignored social distancing and masking, and at 45 who spewed out so much shit information that emboldened those who ignored recommendations, slowed our understanding of the virus and its spread, literally spread it with their ridiculous rallies, and I could go on. At least now, I feel like my small role in vaccinating approximately 250 Oregonians, is something moving towards beating this virus. I’m finally doing something to fight back. Not that I haven’t been doing so all the long. I have shared information that I found reputable and trustworthy, I have led by example, and I have treated many patients in hospital with known COVID infection. Not to mention that I voted that a*******e out of office. I have been fighting for the better part of year, and combating misinformation. But only now do I feel a little bit like its working.